Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dear Boy who just walked up to the Reference Desk,

You are very, very tall. I am sitting down. That means when you decide to scratch your balls in front of me. It's at my eye level.




Too bad I'm already corrupted.

The other day I was working on the reference desk, you know, doing my thing. Answering questions, processing DVDs, watching the cute Kindergarten class tour the library. They were so cute, it was a local Christian school and they just look adorable with there little uniforms and everything. LOVE IT!

Anyways, the phone rings and I answer it and the caller is a gentleman who sounds either really nervous or really sketchy. I'm going to say nervous because...well.. it makes me feel better about the conversation if I think that he was honestly looking for information but was embarrassed/nervous about asking about it instead of getting his jollies asking about stuff.

So lets refer to him as Nervous Patron... or NP

NP: Uh Yea.. Uh hi.. I have a question.. and it's uhh well.. uhhh it's going to be pretty weird.. well uhh.... I'm looking for some books on this topic.. and it's kind of an old topic.. and I'm not sure you would have anything on it.. and um yea..

Teenage Librarian: Okay.. Well what are you looking for?

NP: It's kind of weird.. I mean..

Teenage Librarian: Don't worry, I've had requests for anything and everything before..

NP: Really? What was the weirdest thing?

Now.. I'm thinking we're getting a little off topic.. just spit it out!!!

Teenage Librarian: Um... people asking me for books on bicycles! (I don't know.. I get weird stuff all the time.. let's get on with it!!)

NP: Well.. it's kind of an old term, I mean it might not be in the catalog as this... it's umm it's um.... well.. cuckold.

Teenage Librarian: *blink blink* Okay.

Now.. here's the thing. I know what cuckolding is.. I do. But he was right, nothing came up in our library catalog under that term. Normally when that happens I google the term, find some other ways of putting it and then use those as search term. Minor problem with cuckold.. is that I'm pretty sure some not work apro-pro stuff would come up. So.. you see my problem.

Teenage Librarian: I'm not finding anything under that search term...

NP: Well, maybe search under polyamory? And maybe specifically interracial?

Teenage Librarian: Um. Ok.

NP: Yea... my wife starting working on the base and she's come home and is interested in this.. and I just want to understand the dynamics of it..

Teenage Librarian: Um. Ok.

NP: You just sound so young...

Teenage Librarian: Um. Ok.

Teenage Librarian: Yea, well I've found a book that has a bunch of different essays about different types of relationships including polyamory. Would you like me to hold it for you?

NP: Well, I don't want it under my name....

Teenage Librarian: Well I need A NAME to hold it under... so just give me a name...

NP: John Smith.

Teenage Librarian: Fine..

NP: Are you sure that this wasn't too weird.??

Teenage Librarian: No no.. is there anything else I can help you with?

NP: No.. I don't think so..

Teenage Librarian: Okay, thanks. Have a good day *click*

Oh the joys of the library!

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Oh the joys of my job

My poor blog! I just can't seem to keep up to date with it. That isn't to say that I don't have a lot of stories for it, I'm just extremely busy with life. I started working a second job which has nothing to do with libraries (although the customers could require their own blog) and it has left me with little to no time to do anything else besides work, work, and school. Speaking of school!! I will be graduating with my BA in Liberal Studies on May 15. I'm very excited because that means I can start my MLIS in September woot woot! :) But alas, for now I have 38 days filled with lame undergrad classes and my other job and dealing with the crazy patrons that we all know and love.

Today we had a lovely patron angrily inform us that there was no X button on our keyboards. Yes, we've systematically pried off the X key because we want to mess with you. (Actually not a bad idea hmmm).

I was also welcomed onto the reference desk with a smelly lady, a smelly old lady who was wanting my co-worker to look up recipes and TV show times. This was the same lady that asked me to look up all of the times that ice skating, snowboarding and the luge were being shown on TV for the Olympics. She kept telling me they were on channel 4. Not really understanding that my channel 4 is different that her channel 4 because shockingly there is different providers for cable. Weird. Anyways, she wanted the times for such high quality shows as Millionaire Matchmaker and Tough Love. She loves the hosts on those shows and just sung their praises. It's all very interesting. and smelly.

I also had the pleasure of dealing with our most demanding patron today. She came in and sat down in front of me, handed me a list and asked me if we had this one book. I looked it up and told her that we did have it in our fiction section under the author's last name. There was another title on her list and before I even had the chance to ask her if she'd like me to look up the other title as well, she snottily said "Well, are you going to go get it for me?" Now. I will go and get books for people all the time. I will go with people and show them around the stacks and take them to whatever section they are looking for. But I am not someones maid and I don't appreciate being treated as one. Especially with her holier than thou attitude. Grrr this is the same lady that was microwaving books and telling all of her friends to microwave books to kill the germs on them. Apparently Dr. Oz told them to do this. Well, maybe you haven't been to your local library in some time, but most libraries cover their dust jackets with nice PLASTIC covers. Guess what happens when you stick a PLASTIC COVERED book into the microwave? Yea. It totally happened. And the thing is, is the lady had checked out the book and loaned it to her friend and her friend returned it like that. She assumed responsibility for it, paid for it because it was checked out under her card, and then 2 days later called to complain and say that she wanted her money back because she didn't do the damage. UGH!

We also had crazy dog walker lady in today who even though she comes in every day and knows the rules, wanted to get back on to the computer. Apparently she was told earlier that she could and when she came to me I told her no (as per policy). So she then went shopping around to other people and finally got the ASL to let her on (most likely just to shut her up). So she was given a new reservation but then she complained about which computer it was!!!! Why you ask? It wasn't the one on end where the plug was. You see, she needed to plug in her motorized wheelchair (btw I REALLY don't think she needs it but that's a different story). "I don't even need to get on the computer, I would sit in the back and plug in my chair but someone is by the plug and now I need to sit here where there is a plug". WAIT A MINUTE, you just bitched your way into getting a computer, we finally give you one and now your BITCHING about what computer we give you. And then you tell us that you don't even WANT to be on the computer. You, my dear, suck. Hard.

As I was typing these out I was looking at another draft of a story that I started in February. Oh man is it a doozy! Can't wait to finish it and post it :)